By Nick Thomas
posted
Jul 11, 2012
This has been an especially active year for annoying pests
invading American homes. But let's ignore the presidential
candidates that sneak into your house via the TV screen with their
irritating campaign commercials, and focus on parasites of the
six-legged variety - fleas.
They have been particularly prolific across the country this
year due to a warm, moist spring. And if you have dogs or cats,
even if they mostly remain inside, fleas still somehow manage to
hitch a ride and set up residence in your carpet and
furniture.
So what's an itchy, frustrated homeowner to do?
In extreme cases of infestation, some may explore the easy
option first: burn down the house and collect the insurance. But
for those with a sense of integrity, or no insurance, chemical
treatment of the house or pet may be a better and less felonious
alternative.
In the case of pet treatment, this may include the use of flea
collars, pills, or monthly medicine applied to the skin.
Unfortunately, some of these products are proving to be ineffective
this flea season.
Your next line of defense should be bathing. While this
generally presents few problems for dogs, cats are an entirely
different matter.
Flea issues aside, many people incorrectly believe cats are like
self-cleaning ovens and never need a good scrub down. It's an easy
mistake to make. But just because your cousin Earl licks himself
clean doesn't mean your cat will have the same success, even if it
can reach places Earl can't.
So occasional cat bathing is recommended, especially when there
is a flea problem. But beware. Cats do have a habit of transforming
from cute, fluffy, lovable fur balls into murderous
biting-scratching demons when they hit the water.
Along these lines, wasn't it Einstein who once said, when asked
to explain relativity: "Sitting with a pretty girl can make two
hours seem like two minutes; bathing a cat can make two minutes
seem like two hours"? Or words to that affect.
Here's how a typical attempt at cat bathing is likely to
unfold:
Step 1: Find cat. This may be challenging, especially if the cat
suspects a bath is imminent. Cats can be particularly resourceful
when it comes to stealth tactics designed to avoid baths, so check
behind the sofa, in the clothes dryer, up the chimney, in your
neighbor's sock drawer, Mars.
Step 2: Place cat in sink. At this point, suddenly realizing you've
forgotten the shampoo bottle, fetch it and return.
Step 3: Find cat and place in sink, again.
Step 4: Place cotton balls in cat's ears. This is not to prevent
water getting in, but to avoid further frightening the cat from
your screams.
Step 5: Pour warm, soapy water over cat.
Step 6: Remove cat from head, and return to sink. Reach for
towel to wipe soap and blood from face (yours).
Step 7: Find cat.
Step 8: Return soapy, wet, howling, scratching cat to sink. Lather,
rinse, towel dry and release.
Step 9: Call 911 and request blood transfusion. While waiting for
ambulance, disinfect any area where excrement may have been
deposited; also check if the cat left any.
Assuming you recover from the ordeal, let me also offer one
additional method we have used to reduce rogue fleas in our
home.
Place a candle in a large dish containing about a half inch of
water with a squirt of detergent. Lay the pan on the floor in the
room infected with fleas, and light the candle just before going to
bed. The fleas, at least some of them, will be attracted to the
heat, but fall into the soapy water and drown. Repeat for several
nights. It works. Really.
But please note: neither the author nor this publication accepts
any responsibility should someone in your house trip over the
candle and set the sofa on fire, whilst fleeing from a recently
bathed, vindictive cat.
Nick Thomas has written for more than 200 magazines and
newspapers, including the Washington Post, LA Times, Chicago
Tribune, Boston Globe, San Francisco Chronicle, and Christian
Science Monitor.
Tagged:
Fleas, treatment
